Almost One Month

It has been almost an entire month now. An entire month since the last I wrote an article for this blog and an entire month since I found out that my father died suddenly.

I had wanted to write a tribute to him, but I just can't do it. I thought it would be like closure, but it just doesn't seem right. It has been a surreal month for me. Even after four weeks, the fact that he is gone forever doesn't seem real and I wish there was something I could do to make this feeling go away.

I have been writing a very eloquent tribute to my father over and over again in my mind, but I can't say all those things yet because it hurts too much.

Isn't it funny how good memories and love can hurt so much? I loved him so much and I was so proud that he was my father. He was such a good man. It was too early for him to go and I will miss him so much.



Melissa said...

Oh Mary, your post made me tear up. I am so sorry for the pain that you went through, and still have to go through. It's great that you and your dad had such a great relationship. Rob and his mom hadn't spoken in years when she died in a car accident and he still has bad feelings about it. I'm sure your dad knew how very much you loved him.

It will always be sad, but hopefully you'll hurt a little less every day. Bug hugs for you!!

Sheila said...

Maybe it's just too soon. The right time will come to write about your dad. I know there's a huge hole in your heart.

Anonymous said...

This whole thing is on the left side of fucked up. I catch myself finding things for Pop and then it hits me.

I don't know about you, but I really still cannot talk too much about him. There is a limit as to what I can say. I can say more now than when I got back to work and I am sure in time I can say more.

I can type about things better than I can talk for some reason.

Love ya Sis

Nessa said...

I am so sorry for you.