Bad Movie Reviews : Gigli

I watched Gigli this weekend on cable. I was always kind of curious because it was the start of the Ben & Jen hype and also the end of their acting careers. I must say that it WAS as bad as they said it was. Gigli (which rhymes with REALLY) wasn't at all what I expected. I thought it was supposed to be a romantic drama, but it was actually more of a non-romantic, non-funny piece of shit.

Ben & Jen play Larry & Ricki - two underlings in an undefined world of crime committed by beautiful people. They kidnap the mentally retarded brother of a legislator or something like that (it really doesn't matter who it was as long as you remember he's IMPORTANT). Anyways, Ricki (Lopez) is sent to look after Larry (Afleck) to make sure he doesn't screw up the plan. In the midst of this slow & drawn out plot Afleck gets a little crush on Lopez only to be put in his place when she reveals her lack of enthusiasm toward men. So, one of our many obsticles is to actually believe that Jennifer Lopez would be a be a lesbo. I highly doubt it.

Anyways, after a few too many J-Ho Booty scenes she finally gives in and her and Larry do it. (How did we know this was coming?)... They begin falling in love and no longer want to do harm to the retarded kid and figure out a way to get out of the situation.

This movie was just BAD. Christopher Walken & Al Pacino appearances couldn't even make it better. I was NOT convinced by the guy playing the retarded brother. It was more like a regular guy making FUN of a mentally handicapped person. And to top it all off, they thought it would be funny to see a mentally retarded guy deal with his feelings of sexuality. So, you get really great lines like "She made my penis sneeze -- God bless you penis" Ugh! What the F?

Sadly, this movie wasn't even bad enough to laugh at - which is what I was hoping. It was just long, unrealistic, somewhat sick, and BORING.

 

5 comments:

Go Kayak said...

As one of the redneck boys that I grew up with used to say, "That'll learn ya, durn ya."

Sometimes film critics are right on the money.

mquest said...

Did you see "JERSEY GIRL"? The movie would have been great if they removed every part of the plot that dealt with Lopez.

Anonymous said...

This blogger comment thing is starting to really piss me off. Bah! It keeps going soooooooooo slow.
Anyway. I saw a clip of Inside the Actor's Studio and the dude asks J-Lo if they should just ignore Gigli. It must suck bad.
~Joy

Jeope said...

If the dude from Inside The Actor's Studio is raggin' on it, you KNOW it's bad - 'coz that guy is a total suckup who likes just about everything on the planet!

Mary said...

Yeah, this new commenting crap isn't totally wrinkle-free yet. I like it, but damn it is slow!

Jeope... The actor's studio guy is a buttkiss! I love Will Ferrell's SNL skit with him. It was SO perfect! lol