The One About The Ancient Housewives

So, today was a treat for me here at my job where no one wants me! I got to go to a crappy luncheon. It was the 40th anniversary of a nutrition education program here and they invited me for lunch (and to take pictures of the even of course *whip cracking*).

Well, I walk into the ballroom and see nothing but massive amounts of greyish-white hair that has been hairsprayed into the shape of an orb of mesh cotton candy around hundreds of wrinkly little heads. It smelled like talcum powder and cheap old lady perfume. There were so many thick-soled, orthopedic shoes in that room that I bet you they could get up enough static electricity walking across the room to charge a light bulb for at least 10 seconds. All of them domestic homemakers from long, long ago. We got a complimentary Nutrition Education anniversary cook book. It's ironic how many recipes included "Two Tablespoons of Lard".