Cold Mountain

Last night Patrick and I rented Cold Mountain. Just when I go and decide to let my guard down and see a movie that I thought would suck--I find that I was right in the first place. It sucked. It was worse than I thought it would be. Normally, I would have been all about this movie, but this was bad. Being that my future husband is a historian, we could really shred this one to bits. Here are some of my problems with this movie....

Clothes do not fly off of an individual unless accompanied by the rest of his body. That visual effect of clothes being ripped off a soilders during the opening scene was a cheap attempt to get ooh's and aah's.

During the battle of the crator, union soldiers did get trapped in the hole that they created to destroy the confederates, and they were tragically struck there while the south killed them. However, the film showed way too many soldiers in that crator. Just another alteration of history for the sake of being over-dramatic.

Two words: Bad accents.

Three words: Renee Zelweiger Sucks!

Union troops were shown as really, really mean and crazy. I don't think this was the case. They didn't have the man-power to be so crazy about hunting down people who left the army. Also, the roving troop of union man-hunters was insane. Why in the hell would they spend so much time tracking down some old guy and his practically mentally retarded musical compainion just to shoot them? I think they would have had bigger fish to fry. Also, I doubt that any of the abuse toward women they showed in the movie would have happened. Granted, I'm sure there are isolated incidents, but this movie made union soldiers look like Charles Manson.

It was the stereotypically PC saga of the rightous, slave-freeing, mind-our-own-business southerners getting whooped by the tyrannical north. Whatever.